=(

This is pretty self explanatory (a comment I wrote today to Dennis at 4AM):

"Okay so it's NOW really starting to hit me that you're leaving. It's freaking late, well, technically early, but I saw that you changed your song and decided to come listen to it. Then I see that you put up that picture of me, amber and cj and as I'm listening to the song and writing this comment, I'm crying. Yes, I said it. FINALLY right? Maybe the darkness outside and the only like in the house being in my room just sets the mood perfectly. I don't know why Dennis... I swear, I'm such a girl sometimes. I didn't want to cry. I didn't even cry when I said bye to you, but now. WHY NOW!? Dennis, you haven't technically left yet and I already miss you. I hate crying when I don't want to. It makes me cry even more. UGH DENNIS, I can't wait until this song comes true. I can't wait until you come home. I pray that nothing happens to you. Nothing bad, of course. If you were to see what a mess I look like right now, you'd laugh hysterically. Seriously. I don't even know if this comment will all fit. I don't even know how much I've written. I just keep ranting. I'm sure I'll be okay in time, but like I said, it's finally hitting me. TO THE POINT WHERE MY EYES ARE PUFFY FROM CRYING. Seriously... what am I going to do without you? Nobody to tell me to go to sleep when I'm online late anymore. Nobody to randomly IM me just because I didn't IM him. Nobody to have adventures with. Nobody to laugh at me when I have my "girl moments." None of that for a whole year. Dennis, please be safe. I know God will protect you. Remember to pray everyday. Pray more than once everyday. Pray as if your life depended on it. I don't want to end this comment, because I'm going to feel like we're leaving again for a second time, as dumb as that sounds. Don't forget to write me as soon as you get your new address okay? FREAKING AFGHANISTAN MAN! I wonder how long it takes to get mail from all the way over there. I think Amber said a week or so. Sheesh. Okay, I stopped crying. This took so long to wait that I've played "Home" about 3 times already.

You know when we were hugging and you said "I'm going to miss you"? Well, I heard you, but I didn't get to say it back. I wanted to, but I knew I was going to cry. But I know you know that I'm going to miss you. Heck, I already said it in this comment. Ugh, okay, I lied, I'm crying again. =( Okay okay, it's now 4AM and I need to wake up early for practice so I guess I'll end my long rant here. So to wrap it all up, BE SAFE, PRAY, DON'T FORGET TO WRITE, MAKE VIDEOS AND POST THEM ON YOUTUBE WHILE YOU'RE THERE, AND DON'T FORGET TO DECORATE YOUR ROOM SUPER COOL!

I miss you Dennis. I love you.

-Jonnica"

Ouch.

I just discovered that I have the worst knots in my back and shoulders ever! It's horrible! :(


Tonight, all I feel like doing is falling asleep to some good old slow jams...



Until the next blog...

!

Okay so nothing super cool happened to me today, but hey, what's new? Well actually, me, Crystal, and Ariel went to Donut Tree in the morning before school.

Nothing cool happened during school. Nothing to me at least. After school, me, Crystal, Ariel, and Cherisse went to $1 Boba and chilled for like... over an hour. I'm surprised they didn't kick us out. We talked about a whole mess of stuff. Good AND bad. Happy AND sad. Funny and, well, funny, haha. Then Crystal came over and we went walking around my neighborhood. We walked up this steep hill. Now both of our butts and thighs are sore. Pain is beauty I guess.

EVERYONE is talking about it! It's expected I guess, since it's only around the corner. I don't want to tell you, but at the same time, I DO. It's not THAT big of a deal, but I wind up thinking about it everyday. I don't really want to, but it just happens. I can't help it, especially if all my friends are talking about it.

Yeah Mark, I need one of those too... =[ I think at this point, only prayers can help me, as sad as that sounds. OH LORD, PLEASE HELP ME FIND A DATE! (Haha, that makes me want to laugh at myself.)

ASDF! AHHH! Okay, ENOUGH FEELING SAD! I need to finish up some homework and stop being lazy.

Until next blog...